Bothering Vader
by Jedi Master Evenstar
Summary: Ariadne, my character, is a soldier on Vader's ship and hates her job and her boss. So when she and her friend Wes decide that Vader needs a little payback, things might get a little crazy... ESB SemiAU towards the end CHAPTER 9 UP!
1. The List

**A/N: I realize this list is kinda long. I let my friends help me with it during Study Hall. The actual list is MUCH longer, but I picked out the good ones (ie: the ones that don't involve things only we'd get).**

The List

Call him Ani, then break out into a chorus of "Tomorrow" from the musical.

Tell him he's breaking your heart.

Ask him what his and Padme's song was and sing it constantly.

Dress a little kid up in a Darth Vader Halloween costume and have him imitate whatever the real Vader does.

Run into him and knock him over shouting, "The sporks are coming! The sporks are coming!"

Continuously ask him for piggy back rides.

If he ever asks you a question, always answer in your name. Example: "Where are the Rebels currently based?" "Lizzie." He might get so frustrated that he asks you something totally random like, "What is my favorite color?" "Lizzie."

Offer to clean his mask and helmet, then decorate it with sequins and glitter.

Knit him things. Really hideous things.

Shout, "Who loves ya, Vader?" at inappropriate moments (ie: when he's having an "evil moment")

Ask him how old he is.

Ask him when was the last time he ate?

If he ever does something particularly evil, wag a finger at him and say, "Now, now. Do you really think Shmi would have approved of that?

"Tell him how much fun Luke's house party was last night…

Ask him if the reason Padme left him was because he breathes loudly at night.

Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

Steal his teddy bear. That always makes him cry.

Ask him if he ever remembers his kids' birthdays, and act extremely shocked if he doesn't.

Give him a stuffed animal of that blue guy from Episode 1.

Find the scrapbook his mom made when they were slaves. Tell him he was "soooooo cute when he was nine."

Tell him that if he and Padme had "JUST used protection" he wouldn't be in this situation right now.

"LOOK! A MONKEY! Made ya look!"

Imitate him from when he was nine. Be sure to say, "Are you an angel?" a lot!

4 words: Star Wars Gangsta Rap

Tell him that his daughter is going out with Han Solo…

And is having Han's kids.

Tell him you think that he and Jar Jar would make a good couple.

Make him attend a 7th grade girls' health class.

Make him go to a psychiatrist because he wears too much black.

Put him on _Queer Eye for the Straight Guy_.

Dress like Paris Hilton and ask him out. Be sure to emphasize the mini skirt, heels, and tiny tube top.

Make him show you the video of his and Padme's wedding. Swoon and sigh at all the wrong moments.

When ever he talks to you, interrupt him with, "Your mom!"

If he's mean to you, threaten to flush his favorite picture of Padme down the toilet.

Cuddle him at random moments.

Tell him Padme's pregnant again.

Tell him Obi-Wan's the father.

Ask him why he doesn't have a cool beard like Obi-Wan.

Poke him constantly for 48 hours straight.

If it's just the two of you in a room, poke him and pretend like it wasn't you.

Tell him it's time he and Luke had "The Talk."

Follow him around singing "This is the song that never ends…"

Make him read an Obi-Wan/Padme fan fic.

Make him read an Obi-Wan/Anakin fan fic.

Tell him you're out of tampons and make him go buy you some. Make sure he reads the instructions on how to use them.

Make finger puppets of him and Luke and reenact one of Luke's triumphs over him. Be sure to give them both annoying squeaky voices.

If he threatens you with his lighsaber, say, "Awwwwwww! Lookit! Ani's got a glow stick!"

Take him on a road trip and ask him if he needs to go potty every 20 minutes.

If he lashes out at you after doing all of these things, burst into hysterical tears. Refuse to be comforted.


	2. Intro

**A/N: Don't have much time on the computer now. Gateway testing starts tomorrow. A little rushed, a little short, but hey, it's an intro. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, but maybe the Easter Bunny will bring it for me! **

Introduction

"THAT STUCK UP, NO GOOD SON OF A -" Before Ariadne could get the last part out, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She turned to face her best friend and fellow officer, Wes.

"Language, Ari," Wes smiled.

"I'm sick of it, Wes!" Ariadne said, throwing her cap on her cot. When she had joined Vader's army, she hadn't realize she'd be assisting in the killing of innocents on a daily basis. Plus, Vader was a complete butt-head that treated his entire crew like scum.

"Look, I know Vader's a jerk," said Wes, reading her thoughts. "But looking at his past, he has had a pretty rough time."

Ariadne sighed. "I know. But that doesn't mean he has to be such a-"

"Ah, ah, ah, Ari," Wes cut her off. "Watch that pretty little mouth of your's! Don't think I've forgotten what you said to Admiral Piett yesterday!"

A smile finally crossed Ariadne's face. "I told him where he could get off, didn't I?"

They shared a laugh, then Wes straightened up. "So it's agreed," he said. "Vader deserves a little payback?"

"Only the kind two 18-year-olds can deliver," Ariadne agreed.

They put their heads together and started writing the list.


	3. Operation Ani

**A/N: SOOOOOOOOOO sorry I haven't updated in so long! I got grounded from the computer. But I'm back! And I have the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: The Easter Bunny didn't bring it for me. WAAAAAAAAAHH!**

**1. Call him Ani, then break out into a chorus of "Tomorrow."**

**2. Tell him he's breaking your heart.**

Ariadne stood in line shoulder to shoulder with Wes, waiting to salute Vader as he walked by. They had talked last night and decided that it was best if Ariadne completed the tasks on the list because she was a girl, and Vader had never once physically abused her (verbally and mentally, many times).

Wes crossed his fingers behind his back to wish Ariadne good luck. Ariadne smiled, then put on what Wes called her "Soldier Face" and turned to salute Vader.

"At ease, Soldiers," said Vader when had reached the end of the line of recruits. He then proceeded to give out the day's assignments. The assignments were to locate the Rebel base, capture Luke Skywalker, draw the blueprints to the next Death Star, capture Luke Skywalker, repair the TIE fighters, capture Luke Skywalker, capture Luke Skywalker, and capture Luke Skywalker.

As everyone else went off to start the day, Ariadne walked up behind Vader. "Morning!" she shouted.

Vader whirled around to face the small, red-headed teenager. "Good morning, Commander Ayortha," he said.

"Commander Ayortha?" Ariadne repeated. "Call me Ariadne. Or Ari for short. I think we should be on first name terms, don't you, Ani?"

Vader stiffened. "What did you just call me?"

"Ani. That is your name, isn't it?" she said before going off on one of her galaxy famous rants. "There's a musical called _Annie. _Have you ever seen it? It's my older sister, Gabriella's favorite. I personally like _Wicked_ better."

"Commander Ayortha-" Vader started, but that didn't stop her.

"There's a song from _Annie _called 'Tomorrow'. Do you know how it goes?" Then, she started singing with a horrible croak.

"_Theeeeeeeeeeeeee_ _sun will come out_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Bet your bottom dollar that tomorroooooooooooow_

_There'll be sun…_"

Vader covered his ears (or where his ears would be). Ariadne smiled. "I sing pretty good, don't I, Ani?"

"COMANDER AYORTHA!" Vader shouted. "You are to address me as Darth Vader or Lord Vader only! Is that understood?"

Ariadne's eyes filled up with fake tears. Coming from a large family, the ability to fake cry was one of many forced upon her by her siblings. "Ani, you're breaking my heart!"

Vader stiffened again. This annoying little red-head had brought back the painful memory of his dead wife, Padme, in just five words. "Just go repair your TIE fighter," he sighed.

"Whatever you say," said Ariadne walking off, then added, "Ani." Vader winced.

**A/N 2: My friends and I are writing a story together called Obi Wan's Diary. We each take turns writing our own chapters. We may all be on the same page, or we may have 3 different plot lines going on. Stay tuned to find out. Read & Review! XOXOXOX**


	4. Feeling This

A/N: I wrote this chapter at about 1 AM last night. Don't ask why. I just couldn't sleep. Anyway, I was listening to Blink 182's song "Feeling This" and started thinking, "I'll bet if Anakin and Padme had a song, it would be this one." And that inspired this chapter. So, if you want to add a sound track to this chapter, I suggest listening to "Feeling This".

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Or Blink 182. I'm just borrowing their lyrics for you're entertainment and mine. But I'm not making any money off this, so what do they care?**

**3. Ask him what his and Padme's song was, and sing it constantly.**

Ariadne suited up in her uniform (a black jumpsuit, black boots, and a black cap with the Imperial logo on it) with a wide grin on her face. She was pleased that yesterday's task had gotten such a reaction for something so minor, and was eager to do more. She thought that today's task sounded pretty fun, but hoped that their song wasn't anything R&B because she couldn't sing R&B well if she wanted to. She straightened her cap, flipped her short crimson red hair behind her ears, and walked out onto the _Avenger_'s main deck, softly humming "Defying Gravity" from _Wicked_.

ooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo

Wes looked up from his scanner when he heard Ariadne come in. He smiled at her, then went back to work. Ariadne smiled and went out in search of Vader.

She found him talking to Admiral Piett. When he left, Ariadne walked up to Vader and tapped him on the shoulder. "Morning Vader!" she smiled.

"**Darth** Vader," he corrected her.

"Whatever. I was just wondering. Did you and Padme have a song?"

Vader blinked in shock. "How- how did you know about Padme?" he asked/stammered.

Ariadne smiled wickedly. "Do not underestimate my powers!" she warned.

_This girl really needs help! _Vader thought, shrugging it off. "To answer your question, yes, we did. It was 'Feeling This' by Blink 182."

Vader remembered it well. It had been playing on the radio while he and Padme were driving back to the Lake House after their private wedding. He had deleted it from his iPod shortly after Padme's death. He stopped reminiscing when he realized that Commander Ayortha was singing while she worked on her TIE fighter, which still REALLY needed fixing.

Fate fell short this time

Your smile fades in the summer

Place your hand in mine

I'll leave when I wanna

Vader sighed, thinking of Padme. To be truthful, he hadn't thought about her much since about a year after her death. Now, it seemed like this annoying little redhead was trying to get her stick in his head, right where it hurt the most.

This place was never the same again

After you came and went

How can you say you made anything different

To anyone standing alone

On the street with a cigarette

On the first night we met

Look to the past

And remember a smile

And maybe tonight

I can breath for a while

I've gone in too deep

I think I'm falling asleep

But then all that means

Is I'll always be dreaming of you

That last part was the straw that broke the camel's back. Vader lost it. Using the Force, he picked up a wrench from her toolbox and hit her square in the eye with it.

Vader smiled at her yelp of pain. But that satisfaction was short lived. Ariadne whirled around, a hand pressed to her hurt eye, a smirk playing on her lips. "Now, now," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Do you really think Padme would have approved of that?" Vader growled in frustration.

**A/N 2: I'll try to update ASAP, but it's the end of the year and that means finals, finals, and still more finals. Plus, my swim team coach thinks I need therapy because I'm reading _Carrie_ by Stephen King. It's a good book! But whatever. Read & Review!**


	5. Darth Omi

**A/N: For those of you who have been revisiting The List, I realize that this is about the 10 millionth time I've changed the order of it. But it's not my fault I get ideas for one thing, and have no idea what I want to do for the other! This isn't my own list! I had about 5 other people help me, including my little brother!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. So, please don't sue me, Lucasfilm! No disrespect meant!**

**4. Dress a little kid up in a Darth Vader Halloween costume, and have him imitate whatever the real Vader does.**

"This costume itches!" Omi, Wes's 9-year-old brother complained. He, like many other kids his age, wasn't old enough to join Vader's army when the Empire attacked their planet, Frell, and was in Vader's military training program.

"Just stop squirming and let us put the mask on you," said Ariadne, tying the cape around Omi's neck.

"I fixed the mask so it'll make him sound like Vader," said Wes, putting the mask on Omi.

"I can't believe you guys talked me into dressing up like that cheese head," Omi pouted, his voice about two octaves higher than Vader's, even with the voice modification.

"We want to get back at him _because _he's a cheese head," Ariadne stated simply. "Besides, it'll be fun! You like to copy Wes, don't you?"

"Yeah, cause it annoys the snot out of him!" Omi exclaimed.

"That's what we're hoping it'll do to Vader," Ariadne giggled.

"Is that cause he hit you in the eye?"

Ariadne brushed a strand of hair away from her eye, which was now a deep purple. "Kinda. Now, c'mon. It's show time!" She took his gloved hand and led him out to the _Avenger_'s main deck.

oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo

They found Vader yelling at some crew members for having yet to locate the Rebel base and/or Luke Skywalker. When he saw them, he glared daggers at Ariadne. Even though she couldn't see his face, she could sense his anger.

"Have you come to ask me what my wife's favorite holomovie was?" he asked sarcastically.

"Nope," Ariadne smiled. "I just wanted to introduce you to my little buddy, Omi. He's Lieutenant Xao's little brother."

Vader stared down at the little human that was dressed… just like him! "Uhh, pleasure to meet you, young Xao." He extended his hand to shake his Mini Me's.

Omi held out _his_ hand. "Pleasure to meet you, young Xao," he mimicked.

"Hey, don't do that!" said Vader.

"Hey, don't do that!" Omi repeated.

Ariadne walked over to where Wes was sitting, searching for the Rebel base. "Just sit back and watch the show!" she whispered.

oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo

For the rest of the day, Omi shadowed Vader. If Vader said something, Omi would repeat it in a sing-song voice. If Vader did something, Omi would imitate it with exaggerated limb movements.

Finally, at the end of the day, Vader had had enough. He hadn't fail to notice that Commander Ayortha had been smirking at him all day. But he didn't going to lash out; he wasn't going to give her that satisfaction. He had something MUCH more sinister up his sleeve.

He summoned Admiral White, the director of the training program, and gave him Omi. "Wake this one up at 530 hours standard time. He'll be scrubbing the toilets in the detention blocks. I'll make sure his 'buddy', Commander Ayortha," He shot a glance at Ariadne, "is scrubbing with him."

Ariadne's smirk faded. This DEFINITELY wasn't the plan she had in mind…

**Loved it? Loathed it? Let me know! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	6. The Sporks are Coming

**A/N: I'm finally updating this! I know haven't spent as much time on this story as I do my other fan fics. But that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it. I came up with a pretty good way to end it and make it tie in with ESB (BTW: In case anybody was wondering, this story takes place right after ANH). Now it's just the middle part I have to worry about, which would explain why I haven't updated in a while.**

**The Force will be with you, always.**

**Master Evenstar**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. I'm still in denial, though.**

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**5. Run into him and knock him over yelling, "The sporks are coming! The sporks are coming!"**

Ariadne yawned and took another sip of Red Bull. She already wasn't a morning person. But this morning, she had been up since 530 hours scrubbing toilets with Omi in the detention block (which probably hadn't been cleaned since the start of the Empire).

Today's task included running and screaming, which was something she was normally good at, especially when fueled on caffeine. She drained the rest of the can in one gulp, then went off in search of Vader.

She found him on the main deck yelling at some new recruits for failing yet again for failing to find the Rebel base. Feeling the caffeine coursing through her veins, she backed up and started running.

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Vader looked up just in time to see Commander Ayortha sprinting toward him and leap, sending them both crashing to the ground. He looked up at her in shock. He had no idea that such a petite young woman had so much strength.

"Uhh, Commander Ayortha," he said once he found his voice and his breather returned to normal speed. "What are you doing?"

"Guess what Vader!" she said in an excited voice. "The sporks are coming!"

"The what?"

"The sporks! They're coming! Maybe they'll make me their queen! Do you think I'd make a good spork queen?"

Vader blinked up at her, then turned to the soldiers he had just been yelling at and said, "Peeks, Macmillan, would you please escort Commander Ayotha to the infirmary, and have the medical droids examine her mental health?"

It had been a long time since Vader had so much as chuckled, but he couldn't help but double over laughing as he watched Commander Ayortha being dragged screaming that her head was just fine.

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**Well, was this chapter worth the wait? Review, and I'll be a very happy author! I go back to school in 11 days :P. But keep reviewing and I'll try to keep writing!**

**XOXOXOX,**

**Master Evenstar**


	7. Piggyback Rides

**A/N: I figured that since I haven't done much work on this story, I'd go ahead and do one more chapter before summer ends. But don't get too used to it, because I only have 6 days until school starts, and I'll only be able to update on weekends if I'm lucky. But I'll keep working on it in my spare time. I promise.**

**Thank you dragoneyes171986, dragonrider22, and padmedelacour for your reviews!**

**May the Force be with you always.**

**Master Evenstar**

**Disclaimer: Darth Vader (much to my regret) is the sole property of George Lucas, as is the entire Star Wars universe.**

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6. Constantly ask him for piggyback rides.

It took the better part of three standard days, but Ariadne was finally able to convince the medical droids that she hadn't cracked and was just stressed from being overworked. She had always hated the infirmary, being needle-phobic. The mere memory of having the Imperial logo tattooed on her lower back sent shivers up her spine.

But she'd soon have her daily revenge against Vader with today's task. If there was one thing people could say about Ariadne, it was that she was persistent.

"Enter," Vader said right before she knocked on the door of his office. She hated it when he did that. It always creeped her out

"Oh, it's you," Vader groaned when he saw who was there.

"Good morning Vader!" she smiled.

_It was until you came_, he thought. "What do you want?" he asked.

"You're a pretty strong guy, right?"

"Yes," he said slowly, wondering where this was going.

"And I don't weigh very much," she said mischievously, stepping inside.

"What are you trying to say?" Vader asked nervously.

"Would you give me a piggyback ride?" she asked hopefully.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"For the last time, no! Some of the recruits say they think they found the Rebel base on Hoth. I need to go see if they've really found it. Good day, Commander Ayortha," He walked out of the office.

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Vader had just finished telling the navigator to set their coordinates for Hoth, when he turned around to find Aommander Ayotha standing behind him.

"Now will you give me a piggyback ride?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"FINE!" he shouted.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"Whee! Faster!" Ariadne shouted, kicking him.

_Yeah, yeah. I'm going as fast as I can, _Vader though. _But I'll get you back someday. And your little dog too! _

**A/N: A little random, a little rushed. But was it good? Let me know what you guys think! **


	8. The Name Game

**A/N: I've finally finished the ending of this story (don't worry. You guys won't see it for a while.)!!!!! And, thought I hate to toot my own horn, it is a very awesomeful ending! I'm not going to say very much about it yet, but I'll let you know that it'll be unlike any of the other chapters in this story. You guys will love it! I promise!**

**I'm also planning a sequel to this that's going to be a Battle of Endor type thing. I know I haven't gone far enough with this story to be planning a sequel, but it's fun to work on. Besides, I don't really have any chapters of it completed. I just have a bunch of random ideas that I hope will somehow come together and form something resembling a story.**

**Ok, back to the present. I've decided that piece-by-piece throughout this story I'll put a little bit about Ariadne's past at random. Then at the end, you'll find out why Ariadne works for Vader now. Won't say anything else here!**

**Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, I've changed Ariadne's age from 16 to 18. Don't ask why. I just thought it would be better for the story.**

**Thank you dragoneyes171986, rockyrelay, Obi's Second Cousin, and padmedelacour for your reviews!**

**MTFBWY!!!!!**

**Master Evenstar**

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**7. Answer any question he asks you with your name. Example: "Where are the Rebels currently based?" "Lizzie." He might get so frustrated that he asks you something random like "What is my favorite color?" "Lizzie."**

Ariadne sat cross-legged on her cot in her small quarters with her eyes closed and tried to reach out with the Force the way her grandfather had taught her briefly before Frell had been taken over. She had known she was Force-sensitive since she was 14, but she hadn't gotten the hang of using it until recently.

She stretched out with her feelings until she found Vader. She could feel a sort of excited tension coming from Vader. She knew that could only mean one thing: they had found the Rebels on Hoth and were going into battle.

Well, the ship was going into battle. She knew that after her failure at the Death Star battle, Vader would make her one of the navigators for the battle. Not that she minded. This would be helpful with today's task.

Her eyes snapped open when she heard the alarm signaling battle went off. She quickly changed into her battle jumpsuit and sprinted out to the _Executor_'s main deck.

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"Nice of you to join us, Commander Ayortha," said Vader sarcastically as Ariadne sprinted onto the main deck after everybody else was already standing at attention. "I have just finished giving out assignments for this battle. You will stay on the ship and control the snow walkers. Understand, Commander Ayortha?"

"Ari," she replied in place of yes while everyone scrambled to their battle stations.

"What was that?" Vader asked.

"Ari," she repeated.

"Oh, right. I understand that your real name is Ariadne, but in a battle situation, or at any other time, I will address you as Commander Ayortha. Do I make myself clear?"

"Ari," she replied.

Vader growled in frustration. "Just report to your station," he sighed.

Ariadne obliged, but kept the fun going. As the controller of the snow walkers, it was her job to give instructions and answer questions like "Should we attack from the south side or the west side of the base." Each time, she answered by simply stating "Ari."

Eventually, a report came in that most of the Rebels had evacuated and Princess Leia had escaped with the space pirate/Rebel captain Han Solo.

"Commander Ayotha," came Vader's voice over the radio. "Do you know the name of Captain Solo's ship?"

Ariadne grinned and replied, "Ari."

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**I will now demonstrate my Jedi mind trick powers. (Waves hand in front of you) You want to leave a review… You want to review all my stories… You want come back and review the next chapter when I update…**

**Master Evenstar**


	9. All That Glitters

**A/N: Okay, I know I promised do work on this story, but lately I've had to much homework to work on any of my more difficult stories. And plus, finals were this week, so nobody's online.**

**I've been able to reread the ending I've written, though. With all the editing and revising I've done, you guys better like it! Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to do with the middle.**

**Jas-TheMaddTexan: If World Civ is anything like World Economics, then I feel your pain. Midterms are a real pain in the… neck. I hope you'll come back and leave a real review!**

**Padmedelacour: Thanks. If you liked the "freakiness" of this chapter, then you'll love the ending!**

**Shawn: Uhh… thanks, I guess.**

**Dragoneyes171986: Maybe. You'll just have to read and find out!**

**Mesmerized: Yay! And I hope you're saying it's hilarious without being under the influence of the Force.**

**Savy: Yay!**

**Kiki Firestar: Yay! Glad you like it! I'd love to see you use some of my list in your story! I'm working on the sequel! I'll post it right after this one is finished!**

**Ok, that's all I have to say for now! Enjoy the chapter! Read and Review!**

**Master Evenstar**

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**8. Offer to clean his mask and helmet, then decorate it with sequins and glitter. **

**9. Give him a stuffed animal of that blue guy from Episode 1.**

Ariadne learned three things she didn't know when she and Wes wrote The List. First of all, she learned that the Imperial uniform had no pockets, which meant she had to hide the glitter and sequins in her cap and the bottle of glue down her tunic for today's task. Secondly, she learned that bags of glitter break really easily inside an Imperial cap and sprinkle glitter on the floor when you walk. And finally, she learned that trying to get the glitter out by shaking like a wet dog only manages to get you weird stares from the people passing by at the moment. But that would have to wait if the task ahead was to be a success.

She walked down the hall to Vader's office, trailing glitter behind her. She marched up to the sliding metal door and lightly knocked as she attempted to readjust the glue bottle that happened to be leaking as it slid further down her tunic.

"Enter," came Vader's mechanical voice.

"Hiya Ani!" she said in her shrillest voice. "How's my favorite black iron lung suit-wearing Sith Lord?"

"Alright until you showed up," he sighed. What was it going to take to get this chick to leave him alone? She took this as an invitation inside and waltzed behind his desk chair. As she did, he noticed she left a sparkling trail behind her. "Uhh, Commander Ayortha? Is there any particular reason you're glittering all over my floor?"

"Remember when I told you that the sporks where going to make me their Spork Fairy Queen?" she improvised. "Well, it turns out that fairy queens give off sparkles when they move."

Vader smacked his forehead. What was he thinking when he recruited this psycho, strong in the Force or not. "So what do you want?" he asked without turning around.

"I just wanted to do my favorite Dark Jedi a favor," she smiled, holding up the Windex and cloth she had been carrying. "I'm going to wash your helmet and mask for you! I figured that since you've been working none-stop for 3 days straight looking for the _Millennium Falcon, _it could probably use it."

"Thanks?" he mumbled cautiously. Knowing Commander Ayortha and the way she'd been acting for the past month, he knew better than to take this offer lightly.

"No problemo Ani!" she beamed. "You can go to sleep while I work, and I'll be done before you know it!"

Vader, of course, wanted to stay awake to make sure she didn't mess anything up, but 3 days without sleep finally caught but with him. Within minutes, he was snoring.

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He awoke several hours later with Commander Ayortha standing over him. "Good Morning Starshine!" she said. "The Empire says 'Hello'!"

"Huh?"

"I finished cleaning your mask," she said, holding up a mirror.

Vader stared at is reflection in horror. Commander Ayortha had glued sequins in the shape of a smiley face on the front of his mask and written, "Ari was here" in glitter on the back of his helmet.

"WHAT HAVE YOOU DONE?!?!?" he shouted.

"I made your mask prettier! Black really isn't your color. I'd say you're more of a magenta."

"GET OUT!!!" he shouted. She darted out of the office, barely dodging the Intergalactic comlink book he hurled at her.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

It took him 3 standard days, but he finally managed to get the last of the glitter off the back of his helmet. He was making a mental note to find something else to throw at Commander Ayortha when she walked up behind him.

"Hey Ani!" she smiled.

"Have you come to glue something else to my head?" he asked sarcastically.

"Nope," she said with a convincing look of mock sheepishness. "I actually came to apologize. I thought the sequins looked good on you, but it seemed to really piss you off. So I got you this!" She held out a stuffed Toydarian. "It's a Watto doll! I thought it would remind you of home." She handed him the doll and skipped off.

Vader glanced at the doll and immediately tore its head off, something he'd always wanted to do when he was nine.


End file.
